dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
Randomize
