So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
Randomize
