i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
