Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
