took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
When did angry sex become our thing?
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
Randomize