she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Randomize
