I just threw up on my dentist
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
It was like giving head to a cactus.
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
Randomize
