i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
Randomize
