I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
Randomize
