Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
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