I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize
