Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
You took a bar mat shot.
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend?
Yes and yes
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
Randomize
