I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
I woke up this morning to the buzzer on my oven going off... I cooked fish sticks at 425 degrees for 5 hours last night. my house smells awesome
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
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