I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
