i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
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