Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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