I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
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