This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
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