After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
