Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
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