I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Randomize
