dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
Randomize
