dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize
