I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Randomize
