Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
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