my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Randomize
