Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
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