i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
Hi. This might be awkward, but I met you on saturday at about 330 am. I have to admit I don't remember your name, what we talked about, or various details of how I got home. What I do remember is that I was invested enough in getting your number to ask my cab driver for a pen to write it down since my phone was dead. So do you want to meet, soberer, some time?
Hey bro I think you got the wrong number I'm a dude
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
Randomize
