You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
