I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
Randomize
