How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
Randomize