Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
Randomize