I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Randomize
