Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
i want to swaddle you in tequila
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
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