My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
