I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
