I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize
