she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
