i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Randomize
