i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
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