theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
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