But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
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