make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
Randomize
