Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
