JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
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