I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
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