I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
Come share oat with me in your robe
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
There are leaves in my underwear?
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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