I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
lets start a swedish sibling band together
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
I just found a bag of teeth...
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Randomize
