Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
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