youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
