I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
Randomize
