Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
Randomize
