this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
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