seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
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