its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
Randomize
