I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
Randomize
