Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize