White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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