My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
now i know why i became what i already was.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
Randomize
