So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
