you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
Randomize
