Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
Randomize
