Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Randomize
