so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
Randomize