Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
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