i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
Randomize
