I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
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