FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
