is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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