I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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