i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Randomize