Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
Randomize