and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
How many fucks given?
0.12846
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
Sorry about my life...
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
Randomize
