how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
Randomize
