just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
Randomize
