He disabled his match.com account in front of me
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
That accounts for only three of the penises
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
Randomize
