Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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