Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
