he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
