I'm lost and stupid without you.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
Randomize
