Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize