just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
