so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
Randomize
